Person Number One I just recently broke up with about a month ago. Some days I am really happy that things ended. They could have ended better, but in the long run I know it is what God intended to happen. As much as I loved the relationship and I love/loved the person, it was not a healthy relationship. I constantly felt like I was not enough and like I needed to change in order for the relationship to work. We had a lot of things in common, but a lot of our morals did not match, which made a lot of things difficult. Other days I'm really upset that things ended. Although things weren't always good, when they were it was amazing. There was one day we spent all day together. We went to Starbucks, to Walmart and played with toys and skateboards. We went to the park and played on the playground and carved our initials in a tree like we were in a cute Nicholas Sparks movie. That day was so special and so much fun, but all good things come to an end. He's graduating and going off to college and our lives just don't match up anymore. A few days ago I stopped at the park to go see our initials. I knew exactly which tree it was and remembered exactly what it said. I wish I could tell you I pulled up and he was standing at the tree with flowers in hand, apologizing for the way things ended and everything worked out and we are happy again, but it didn't happen that way. I have no idea what made me stop at the park to go see the tree. I knew seeing it would tear me apart, which it did. I just wanted to see it, wanted to relive the happiness of that day.
Person Number Two is a really close friend of mine. I have slowly started to have feelings for him since Person Number One and myself broke up. The only problem is: he likes my best friend. The only aggravating part about that is: she likes girls. He knows that she likes girls, but still feels like he has a chance with her. So I don't really know what to do. We talked and flirted for a few days and everything was really good. It was honestly the happiest I had been since that Nicholas Sparks day with Person Number One. Everything was looking really good and I really thought something good was going to come out of all of this. But then... he called things off. Apologizing, he said that he just couldn't do it. He thought he was over my friend or that he could get over her, but that he just couldn't do it. So things are kind of awkward between us now because we both know that we like each other, but we can't do anything about it. We still talk all the time, I just don't know what to say anymore.
Person Number Three is also one of my exes. I dated this male before I dated Person Number One. Our relationship was really great. The only problem was his mother. She disliked me very much, I'm still not really sure why. I tried so hard to make her like me. I bought them gifts and invited them to dinner. I hugged her and complimented her every chance I got. My mother thinks she disliked me because of another female. You see, Person Number Three dated a girl before me that I will refer to by Jillian, that's not her name. Jillian is the daughter of Person Number Three's mother's best friend. My mother believes that she disliked me so greatly because she had this beautiful fantasy of her son and her best friend's daughter living happily ever after. Jillian decided to text me today and express how apologetic she is for everything that happened. It is really weird though because I haven't talked to her in about a year. There's just a lot of confusion on how I should handle things. Talking to Person Number Three is still really awkward because we are pretty much coworkers so it makes things awkward.
Feelings will constantly change, Right now I am feeling really tired, but when I wake up in the morning I won't be, hopefully. However, love does not change. If you love a person, if you truly love a person, that will never go away. You can love someone without liking them. These three people I have a different feeling for each of them. I don't really know what to do about any of the situations, but I do know that God's got this. God's got me, He's got my back. My feelings are going to keep changing and I am probably going to stay confused, but I can get through this.
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